Renegade
by carved in the sand
Summary: "This world does not cater to the wishes of little girls." - sasusaku


**A/N:** _Inspiration from a horribly emotional paramore song that smacked me in the face and screamed 'Sasuke'. And then usually when I think of Sasuke I think of the love of his li- I mean Sakura. Yeah. So, here's more angst that I don't know what to do with_

* * *

The light isn't the soft hue of the moon shining down on them, but the raging fires that continue to burn Konoha, continuing to wane and dull into glowing embers. The smell that chokes her breath isn't the scent of his skin, but the heavy, clogging smoke that invades her lungs and begins to suffocate her. The face held in her hands isn't smooth and soft, but deceptively rough.

Coarse strands of black hair brush against the back of her hands, coaxing the Uchiha to look her in the eyes.

"_Sasuke_," Sakura pleads. "Look at me. Come on."

His eyes stay obstinately to above her head, into the firey depths of his former village.

"I should have destroyed it," he whispers, the words still managing to slap her across the face. "I should have turned everything and everyone into ashes."

"Even me?"

"You should have been on your mission."

He dodges her questions so easily. It infuriates her.

"Well, that village you should have burned down?" Sakura prompts snappily, jerking his face to her own, his eyes to her own - _black to green, conflicted to resolved, every sense of black and white, no gray spots_ - he breathes an unsteady breath. "That was the village Itachi died protecting."

He snorts derisively. "Yeah. Let an entire clan be demolished instead of a village. Amazing compromising skills."

Sakura lets the tips of her nails sink slightly into his cheeks in retribution, but he does even flinch. "This is the part where I'm supposed to say thank you, is it not?" the pink-haired kunoichi ground out, throat closing in on her. This young man has endured nothing but pain, hasn't he? All she wanted to do was lock her arms around him and never let go. "If only to shut you up."

A dull smirk pulls at his lips, nothing like it's usual brilliance. "Isn't that my line?"

Sakura is already sighing before he swoops down to catch her lips, hands moving from his sides to her's, pulling her as close as humanly possible. Now she could smell his scent - _'sharp, masculine,_ _**home**__'_. Of all the times his lips connected to her's, there wasn't a such a sense of _"ending"_ as there was now. Sakura had read many books, been to many plays, and this was the scene that she dreaded the most.

Who ever knew she'd ever act out her own goodbye kiss?

Coaxing, pleading, outright desperation clawed painfully at her insides because she _knew_ this was goodbye.

Her eyes didn't sting.

When _finally_ he pulled away, breathing harshly against the underside of her jaw, Sakura wraps her arms securely around his necks and pulls him closely.

"I love you," she whispered fiercely. This is the love confession she'd been waiting for. She is the strong, dependable kunoichi. "I never stopped, and you better be damn sure that I won't. I love you, Uchiha Sasuke. I love you so much. Too much."

"Shut up, Sakura." His voice is weak, throaty and battling with the words he wants to say."

"You shut up, you asshole." The back of her eyes began to sting.

After what seemed like seconds - _'too short, too short, come back here,__** please**__'_ - he pulled away from her. His body heat began to dull on her clothes, leaving her shivering in the late fall air.

"You won't even be here for his birthday," Sakura drawled in a poor attempt of nonchalance, the bitterness seeping into her tone. "You could have stayed."

"The sun doesn't rise in the west, Sakura," Sasuke said gravely, and the few feet he'd put between them made a world of difference - far apart, far apart, too far apart - and she could only lament on the lack of closeness.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"Why are you doing this to yourself? To _us_?"

His eyes flash with heat, and enciting anger from him excites her. Anything but his cold exterior. "Don't ever think that I was given a choice on this. Konoha didn't give Itachi one, either. This village is only still standing for you."

Sakura smiled, but it was sad and insecure. "Tell me. I know you do, but you've never said it before. Tell me."

"I love you. And it doesn't change a damn thing."

"In all honesty, it made things worse."

Sasuke sighed. "You talk too much."

"You're pretty chatty yourself, aren't you?" the kunoichi said with a weak voice. The Uchiha's eyes narrowed in contempt, his fists clenching and trembling.

"I'm a renegade, Sakura. I always was."

They were left staring at each other, much too far away, and when the tears began to fall, Sasuke shifted into the nothingness, flitting away from her and Naruto and Kakashi and Sai and their friends and his home and his village and_ her love_-

"I'll never understand you Sasuke," Sakura whispered into the dark, lips pursed. She turned, facing towards the still-burning Konoha, with all of it's shinobi working hard to put away the flames, take down the enemy, and heal the wounded. Thanks to Sasuke, they would all undoubtedly survive the night.

_I'll never be able to thank you, Sasuke._


End file.
